Sometimes the path within must be extracted...
Sometimes we need to tear down and destroy what we are in order to make way for something new, or something better...
cemetery gates
I don't like myself very much anymore.
I think it's time to totally back away from everything and completely re-evaluate my situation. I know I have a long road ahead of me. I know that I have to walk down it alone. I need to prepare myself for that journey.
I have a NASTY lump on my head from an accident today. I was plugging my laptop into an outlet in my living room to charge it up. The outlet is behind a bookcase. On top of the bookcase are books, with stone gargoyle bookends pushed into either side of the row. One of them fell on my head while I was plugging the laptop in. Dude, they're friggin' heavy! It damn near knocked me out when it hit me. My head still hurts...
I have a really hard head though...
I bought a new camera on Saturday, a Kodak Z650 SLR deal. It's got an excellent 38mm 10X zoom lens on it. It's the best camera I've ever owned. OfficeMax was doing an inventory, and they had it marked down to a hundred bucks! I couldn't say no. It was marked down from two-hundred and forty dollars. I found out that when Kodak released the camera last year, it was over three-hundred dollars. I'm thrilled with it. The image clarity is wonderful at 6.1 megapixels, and the clarity on the zoom is incredible. I think damnage might get a makeover soon. The quality of graphics I can produce using the new camera is much better than with my old Mustek. The night vision mode is wonderful. All the pictures in this blog were taken with the new camera, by the way...
taken with my new camera...
I was at Wal-Mart on Thursday, and while I was there, I bought 28 Weeks Later. I watched it tonight, and I'm still not sure how I feel about it. I thought it was good, not as good as the original, but good. I'm gonna watch it again before I go to bed tongiht.
The Raiders lost again today, making them 2-3 in Week Six. Sometimes it's tough to be a part of the Raider Nation. The boys never seem to be able to get their shit together.
Anyway...
I think after this weekend, I might get my own shit back together, quit drinking again, and just hang out in the cemeteries on the weekends, taking pictures of angels like I used to. I think going back to the bars was a mistake. There's nothing left for me out there. I'm a dinosaur out in that world.
I dunno...
I might give it a rest, but I'll probably wander back out into it again. I literally have nothing better to do. It gets to the point where I want to go back to work on Monday because there I at least have a sense of purpose. When I'm given time to myself, I just wander around aimlessly, bumping into stuff without any sense of direction or purpose.
It makes me wish we had overtime on the weekends again. I'd be earning boatloads of money, and I wouldn't have to think about everything that's wrong in my life. I could just be behind my saw, cuttin' up rework, and all would be right with the world...
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